Senses
by Ashplosion
Summary: "I've definitely learned that this is not who Cat really is. I don't know who she is, honestly. I do know I'm in love with her. I'm trying to figure out what she does to my senses-she invades them."


**Author's notes:** I have decided that I am not very good at writing Cori. This would've made more sense with Cade, but I didn't like the idea of doing this with Cade. Regardless, I needed to do something that isn't related to African literature. I adore Adichie's work, but I do not adore feeling like my life revolves around a term paper. Finally, the phrase "If you say I'm good enough, that's good enough for me," was pulled from Fireflight's "Stand Up." They are an awesome Christian rock band. Seriously. I'm not a Christian, and I listen to them.

* * *

><p>I've learned, over time, to read my friends. There's Robbie. The things he really wants to say come out as a mix of his own most nervous statements and Rex's most sarcastic. There's Beck, who is, as his locker implies, transparent. He means everything he says. André is reserved, and he only says what he feels is important. Then you have Cat and Jade, night and day, sunshine and shade. Everything Jade says is sarcastic and mean. I've learned, however, that often she hides veiled compliments in these statements, and that finding them is easy if you know where to look. If she has ever said something that sounded sincere, she had to have been acting. It's just not who Jade is. I've grown to appreciate the coldness that Jade radiates.<p>

Cat… she seemingly says everything that pops into her head. I've definitely learned that this is not who Cat really is. I'm not sure who she is, honestly. I'm sitting here, across from her in a Skybucks, trying to piece together the puzzle behind those brown eyes for myself.

I do know I'm in love with her. I'm trying to figure out what she does to my senses (_she invades them_).

She takes a sip from her coffee; I've noticed that gingerbread licks at my nose (_I smell her)_. "It's terrifying," she states simply. "I don't know that I can handle this. I'm just too… scared, I guess. I can't handle what people will think, what they'll say." I nod solemnly. It feels so much like a rejection.

"I'm not going anywhere," I state defensively. She looks at me, and I see a flash of something behind brown eyes. "Cat, when I told you I love you, I meant it." She sighs and looks away.

"I can't say it back, Tori."

"You did."

"I didn't mean it." I feel a knife twist in my heart. Her hand slides across the table and envelops mine. And it's so soft, so warm that I can't help but lace my fingers through hers (_she's touching me_). Suddenly, I'm angry.

"Why did you lie to me?" She looks back at me, and the hurt is evident in her eyes. I regret it and hang my head in shame. She releases my hand and moves toward the door, gingerbread/coffee concoction in hand. There's a certain dejectedness in her gait that wasn't there before, and I feel so bad. I hear the door push open and wonder, "If I move now, can I catch her?" I jump to my feet and run after her, catching up to her as she opens her car door. I push it closed, and she looks at me with surprise. "Cat. Please."

"I can't, Tori. I'm too scared." Our eyes lock, and she's just a couple of inches away. I can see panic in those brown eyes, surfacing over the mysteries they've held from me for so long. Somewhere, I see the Cat I fell for (_I really see her_).

"You don't have to say you love me. Just don't tell me I'm not good enough."

"What? No, it's not that you're not good enough-" I cut her off with a kiss, in front of God and everybody, and she responds softly (_I taste her_). I want to kiss her harder, more deeply, but this is not the time or place for it. I've pushed my luck enough as it is.

"If you say I'm good enough, that's good enough for me." She licks her lips and studies my eyes a little more closely. I feel the thickness of the silence in the air, and pray for her to say something. Then, I hear it. _I really hear her say,_

_ "_You're good enough for me, Tori."


End file.
